“The Flaming Dames in Naughty and Nice”
Written by: Leslie Kerrigan and Andy Grigg
Showing: New Millennium Theatre Company at the Spot, through Jan. 4
Tickets: $10-$15
Contact: (312) 458-9083

“An Aerosmith Christmas”
Written by Sam Weiner and cast
Showing: Annoyance Productions at The Annoyance Theater, through Jan. 4
Tickets: $15
Contact: (773) 561-4665

By Brian Kirst

Contributing writer

Those looking for a little extra flash, flesh and twisted humor in their holiday celebrations need look no further than Chicago’s Uptown. Both the rising New Millennium Theatre Company and the long established Annoyance Theater offer exciting, alternative theatrical options in this culturally hot, up and coming neighborhood.

Created and directed by the energetic Leslie Kerrigan, “The Flaming Dames in Naughty and Nice” offers a professional burlesque revue filled with unusual dramatics. Indeed, those who long for the days of professional show queens such as Anita Arden and Betty Rowland (who was the primary influence for Barbara Stanwyck’s “Ball of Fire” film) may find their closest alternative here.

Santa (a spot-on Kristofer Simmons) has morphed into a svelte, drunken Ryan Seacrest clone and Christmas is at risk. A frantic elf (a caustically humorous Rebecca Miller) and Santa’s helper (an energetically adorable Stephanie McLemore) fret about the holiday’s fate. Fortunately, the Flaming Dames are on hand to entertain while they figure it out.

From Hot Cocoa’s (Ericka Ayche’le) raucously enjoyable attack on “Santa Baby” to the sweet vocalizing of DeChantel Kosmatka, these dames offer something for everyone. These multifaceted women artfully float down to their pasties, most memorably in the energetic slumber party atmospherics of “Let it Snow” and the amazing mock-up of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Whether through the stunning beauty of Hot Toddy (Brandy Brooks), alternative strength of Salome S or the sweetness and warmth of Minty Mocha (Michelle Kelly), Sugar Cookie (Gina Ferenzi), Ginger Snap (Ky Rankin) and Jingle Bell (Andria Emerick), these woman teach us to love ourselves and our bodies—no matter the shape or the size. This is the most amazing gift that Kerrigan, co-writer Andy Griggs and NMTC can offer us this Christmas season.

Further up the street, Annoyance Theater offers another version of a potentially traumatized Christmas in their hilarious, take-no-prisoners “An Aerosmith Christmas.”

All the cheery folk of Christmas Town are up in arms because the Christmas Wizard (a subtly forceful Wes Haney) is retiring and looking for a replacement. But everyone from the Baker (an amazingly versatile Adam Rubin) to the Mayor (the hysterical Conner O’Malley) remain blindingly cheerful until Joey Kramer, the drummer from Aerosmith, (a multi-leveled Tim Paul), kidnaps the Christmas Spirit (an elastic Sam Weiner). Tired of being ignored and abused over the years, Kramer is out for revenge and it is up to the Wizard’s new recruits, Julian (sharply expressive Andrew Peyton) and Jillian (sweetly tart Gina Nicewonger) to save the holidays. Indeed, Jillian and the Spirit, both recruited by Kramer to work on a solo album that will best bandmates Steve Tyler and Joe Perry, may hold the key to the winter’s salvation—unless a crazed detective (a reddened, wild eyed O’Malley) murders everyone first.

Conceived by Weiner and co-scripted by his castmates, this production is bubbly, sarcastic and filled with the rebellious nature of the best rock and roll. Director Sean Cusick scores with his slam-dunk pacing and those not easily offended and looking to “Dream On” could surely find their corrupted holiday Mecca here.