Last weekend, just two nights after the Iowa caucuses, most of the presidential candidates took part in a set of remarkable debates broadcast on ABC.

The debates, one for the Republican candidates and one for the top four Democratic candidates, were striking for a couple of reasons.

From our community’s point of view, they were remarkable because we weren’t a subject of discussion. Now, yes, it would be nice to have marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples up a bit higher on the agenda, along with a federal GLBT civil rights law and a few other things. On the other hand, though, just think back to the last two presidential elections, when we were used as a wedge issue to divert attention from more pressing concerns and polarize the electorate.

That trend seems to have played out, even among Republicans. The one candidate who’s tried to whip up fears of gay marriage as a threat to the American way of life, Mitt Romney, lost badly in Iowa despite spending an unheard-of fortune there. Mitt seemed a bit dazed by his Iowa loss and never even mentioned us directly in the debate, although he made a couple of passing references to “traditional families” and “values voters.”

Nor did the other GOP candidate who would likely be bad news for GLBTs, Mike Huckabee, mention us. It’s as though even he, a Southern Baptist preacher with some really misinformed views on gays, realizes that we’re just not the vote-getting issue we used to be.

Watching the debates back to back also illustrated the incredible distance these days between the two parties. The Republicans spent a lot of time trying to rally the old GOP constituencies by talking about getting tough on immigration. None of them seemed cognizant of the actual politics and economics of the issue. If anything, they seemed as lost as the Whig Party of the 1850s, which died when it became incapable of addressing the changing realities of its time.

The other really remarkable thing about the debates was just the fact that they took place on national TV in a format that ensured that the candidates had to listen and respond to each other and to their questioners.

Sure, they all tried to “stay on message” but there were considerable periods when they had to actually depart from their pre-fab soundbites and engage each other in serious, substantive discussion.

Those moments were revealing and enriched the knowledge of all those who were watching. There are valid criticisms of our system for choosing a president, but sometimes it works and this was one of those times.

It’s reassuring to see a major TV network devote a night of primetime to an exercise such as this. Presidential elections always matter but this one matters more than most.

For those who shrug and say that who we put in the White House doesn’t matter, such cynicism may be understandable but it’s just plain wrong. One person can make a difference, and one person in the White House can make a huge difference. Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt and Franklin Roosevelt all made singular, intensely personal decisions that changed the course of history. Our next president may well get a similar opportunity.

Just remember—the presidential primary in Illinois is Feb. 5, and we hope each and every one of you takes seriously your right and duty to cast your vote. Our country’s future is at stake in this year’s election. We really need to get it right this time.