By Ken Stuckey

“The Farmer’s Son”
Falcon Studios, 2007
Cast: Erik Rhodes, Jason Adonis, Jessie Zane, Logan Steele, Blu Kennedy, Jamie Donovan

It’s hard not to root for an adult video company that still believes in telling stories. But “The Farmer’s Son” is a movie full of promise that doesn’t quite deliver. Director Chris Steele’s serious flaw is in casting Falcon’s plucked and pumped goliaths to play regular country boys.

Overmuscled Erik Rhodes’ truck breaks down in the dark North Carolina woods and he has to seek help at a nearby farmhouse. Title character Jessie Zane answers the door clad in white briefs, and as soon as he sees humpy Erik, the self-evident plot is launched: Erik must stay with a shotgun-toting daddy farmer long enough to get his truck fixed, while avoiding the treachery of the hot nympho son. Farmer Logan Steele is what this movie needed more of. He looks old enough to fit the “daddy, I’d like to fuck” bill, and he even has a southern drawl.

The first sex scene is a generic, pointless poolside three-way. (A lake or swimming hole would be more plot-appropriate.) Next, Erik’s rendezvous with the mechanic (Jason Adonis) is marginally hotter. Jason bottoms on screen for the first time, but unless you’re a rabid fan, there’s little reason to care. The next scene is the best in the movie. Fiery redhead Blu Kennedy, wearing only a pair of ragged shorts, gets his big redneck dick sucked by Jamie Donovan. Logan sneaks up out of nowhere and a sizzling three-way ensues.

The plot pays off when, driving through the woods, Erik finds Jessie bare-assed by the roadside. Here again, the movie stops short of a homerun. This flick is worth checking out, but the movie in your mind will inevitably be better than the one on the screen.

“The Bigger, the Better”
Bijou Video, 1984
Directed by Matt Sterling
Starring Buster, Doug Weston, Joe Craig, John Thomas, Rick Donovan, Brian Hawks

Everything good in porn is spectacular in “The Bigger, the Better,” although the name may be a little misleading. The guys in this pre-condom movie are plenty big, but except for Rick Donovan and Brian Hawks, they aren’t monstrous. What makes this film stand out is the performances: This may be one of the best-acted sex films of all time.

Rick plays a student in Matt Ramsey’s class. Matt later became a superstar in the straight world as Peter North, but his water-pistol cum shots secured his legacy in gay film, despite his having starred in only a handful of titles. Here, he tries bravely to cling to a rickety wooden desk while Rick forcefully swats his ass and pumps 10 inches of prime meat into him. It isn’t difficult to buy the idea that Matt would risk getting caught by other students or faculty for these few sweltering public minutes in bronco Rick’s saddle.

And when he gets home, Matt has still more heat in store, as his student Brian Michaels comes over to watch his teacher work out in nothing but a pair of blue nylon shorts (the kind they don’t make anymore). Desire seizes Brian. As he breathlessly begs for Matt’s thick cock, Matt is ripping a hole in the seat of Brian’s sweatpants.

It only gets better from here: a pair of blond frat boys find themselves in a motel room having some of the most exquisitely lensed sex ever. And Brian Hawks checks out the school restroom, then lets three guys have their way with him on the restroom floor.