By Matt Simonette

Staff writer

Speaking at Roosevelt University May 1, out actor Wilson Cruz discussed two huge mistakes he made when he told his parents he was gay years ago.

The first was coming out to his mother when she was behind the wheel of a car.

“She started weaving the car. She pulls over, looking like a raccoon, and pulls the rosary off her rearview mirror,” Cruz said. After several minutes, she turned back to him and said, “I knew it. It’s okay.”

He made the second mistake—coming out over a holiday—when his father asked if he was gay a few months later.

His father was not as understanding as his mother. He chased Cruz and a friend out of the house, leaving the young actor homeless, living in his car, for several months.

“I bathed and ate at a center a lot like one that just opened up here in Chicago. I parked in front of what used to be Lucille Ball’s house on Roxbury Drive, because I love her,” Cruz said.

But Cruz admitted he was lucky. He had already shot the pilot for his television series “My So-Called Life,” which had been picked up by ABC, when he was homeless, and was just waiting for the regular shooting to begin.

He mentioned two friends, Matt and Tony, who had moved to Los Angeles to break into show business. They ended up working as prostitutes.

“They were naïve and scared and poor. They were told that they would make more money if they’d service johns without protection. They’re not here anymore,” Cruz said.

He added that he worries that many young people are not adequately concerned with safe sex.

“So many people think that AIDS is over. In many ways it is a manageable disease. (But) what you have to do to manage it is a lot of work,” he added.

Cruz said after a person comes out, family and friends require patience and understanding.

“The only thing to do is remember what it was like after you realized that you were gay. Give them the time, love and generosity you gave yourself,” he added.

He reconciled with his father a year after coming out to him.

Cruz called on teachers who know they have gay students to step up and make them feel welcome in the classroom. One English teacher who inspired him, he said, would often reassure him by saying, “You’re safe in my classroom.”

“It’s good for gay-straight alliances when they have faculty members who actually show up too. Sometimes teachers are not human to their students. Showing up for that shows the teacher comes from a real life and a real place,” Cruz said.

Cruz has worked steadily since “My So-Called Life,” appearing in such television series such as “Noah’s Arc” and “E.R.”

Homophobia, he said, does still exist to some extent in the entertainment industry.

“(But) In any industry it’s important for you to set boundaries and say what is unacceptable to you,” he added. He said that he had been teased by extras on “My So-Called Life” and “Ally McBeal,” but in both cases they were thrown off the set.

“The thing to remember is, that helps them in the end,” he added.

He has never the regretted the decision to come out in public.

“The only thing I can worry about is doing the best possible job I can do. I’m in my 16th year in this business and I still get work,” Cruz said.