By Gary Barlow

Compare and contrast

OK—it’s not always apt to compare one country’s politics with another’s. After all, the differences between cultures can be complex and so forth.

Still, I have to say that news reports coming from our own White House this week just don’t compare very favorably with reports coming from the Canadian capital of Ottawa.

In Washington, a spokesman for President Bush said the president would veto legislation to expand the federal hate crimes law to include sexual orientation because the measure is “not sufficiently narrow.”

The spokesman said, “Any crime involving a homosexual individual has potential to have hate crimes elements.”

Actually, the bill only covers “violent acts that result in death or bodily injury,” according to its sponsor, Sen. Edward Kennedy.

But bear in mind that this is a president who didn’t think Texas should have a hate crimes law covering black men chained to pickup trucks and dragged down dirt roads.

Meanwhile, what’s the gay news out of Ottawa? Oh, yes, a gay member of the Canadian Parliament, Scott Brison, spent the week getting ready to marry his partner.

Brison didn’t have much to say about it, having previously commented, “I’m looking forward to the day when the idea of a gay or lesbian politician getting married is not a story at all.”

We understand, Scott. You can’t possibly know how much we in the U.S.A. look forward to that day as well.

That country up there

Speaking of Canada—well, maybe Sen. Barack Obama wishes he hadn’t.

I know things get a little fast in these presidential debates. Heaven knows I’d hate to be up there on stage trying to say all the right things all the time.

That said, however, when you step out and say, “Hey, I can handle being leader of the Free World,” then there are some things you just have to know.

That’s why it was startling to listen to last week’s AFL-CIO debate and hear Obama say he would consult with “the president of Canada” over trade issues between our countries.

That would be fine, of course, if Canada had a president—which it doesn’t. It has a prime minister who presides over a parliamentary system of government. Who presumably would be willing to talk with Obama should he be elected chancellor of the U.S. Or whatever.

In case anyone’s watching

The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation released its report ranking the major broadcast networks on GLBT inclusion and sensitivity last week, and guess which network came in last?

Too easy, right? Fox brought up the rear, not surprising for a network where the most positive gay characters are a grumpy lesbian sister and a daddy-worshiping masochist on “The Simpsons.”

ABC led the pack, with GLAAD citing its “Ugly Betty” and “Brothers and Sisters” series as particularly deserving of praise. The CW finished second, largely on the strength of positive representations of gays and lesbians on “America’s Next Top Model.” I don’t know about that, by the way…

CBS finished fourth and NBC finished just ahead of FOX, quite a comedown for the network that once aired “Will and Grace.”

Of course, anyone who’s looking to network TV to lead the way on these matters hasn’t really been awake for the past 60 years or so, have they?

Over-active hormones

Oh, well—let’s get down to the really important issue of the day, and that’s how some brown-tailed moths are being tricked into believing that other moths aren’t males, but are really women instead.

This is actually happening in Britain, according to The Times, which wrote last week about how scientists are using pheromones to keep the prolific moths in check by “persuading males to be gay.”

Now that’s a bit of a weird overstatement by The Times, I think. After all, what the scientists are doing is spreading female pheromones near the moths’ hatching grounds so that when larvae hatch they become coated in them, thereby leading the older male moths to think they’re all females ready to breed.

That’s not gay—it’s, well, just perverse. But the moths are easily fooled apparently. As The Times points out, as only The Times can, “Moths have small brains and dreadful eyesight.”

In fairness to moths, though, don’t males of other species often seem to have “small brains and dreadful eyesight” when they’re out looking for a little action?

But, hey, I’m not being specific, OK…