By Gary Barlow

Blowhard Bill whiffs again

Ol’ Blowhard Bill O’Reilly was at it again last week, playing fast and loose with a new poll on Americans’ attitudes toward gays.

The FOX News host was talking with Kirsten Powers and Michelle Malkin Aug. 13 when he threw out a poll by “Pew Research or something like that.”

Yeah, airbag, try “something like that” again. The poll was actually by Quinnipiac and O’Reilly went on to lie about it more than once. For starters he said the poll showed, “Most Americans won’t vote for you if you get an endorsement by a gay-rights group.”

Really? Well, let’s see—according to the poll 34 percent in Ohio said that such an endorsement would make them less likely to support a candidate, while 10 percent said it would make them more likely and 54 percent said it wouldn’t matter.

The numbers were even more pronounced in other states—in Florida and Pennsylvania, for example, only 28 percent said they’d be less likely to vote for a candidate who got a gay-rights endorsement.

Blowhard Bill, of course, wasn’t going to let a little thing like the truth get in his way though, continuing to cite the poll as proof that “most Americans said less likely.” Blah, blah, blah, Bill. Will FOX ever develop a sense of shame and get rid of this snake oil salesman?

Preaching hate

Meanwhile, a group of ministers down in Memphis are doing their part to remind people that God’s about more than just that “faith, hope and charity” crap in the Bible.

The Memphis Baptist Ministerial Association issued a statement last week condemning the U.S. House for passing a bill that adds new federal penalties for hate-motivated violent attacks against GLBTs.

The ministers, though, are whipping up fears that the bill would prevent them from criticizing GLBTs in their pulpits. One, that has absolutely nothing to do with the legislation—zero, zip, nada—and the right-wing freaks screaming about it know that.

But they don’t care. As one said: “No matter who’s for this bill, we’re not.”

You know, here we have a world filled with war, poverty and all sorts of bad stuff, and this is the best cause these “men of God” can find to get upset about?

May their collection plates be as barren as their brains…

Wisteria Lane update

OK, you can quit anxiously holding your breath—the new season of “Desperate Housewives” is going to feature two new characters in the form of a gay couple who move to Wisteria Lane.

But the couple won’t be played by soccer star David Beckham and British pop idol Robbie Williams, as had been rumored. Instead, according to TV Guide, former “One Life to Live” soap-hunk Tuc Watkins is set to play “country mouse” Bob, while former “Judging Amy” actor Kevin Rahm plays his “less-than-pleasant” partner Lee. The couple moves to Wisteria Lane to escape life in the big city.

Well, hopefully, “less-than-pleasant” Lee will move the dialogue along when things get bogged down. Not to mention showing the ladies how far someone will really go to get his man. And who wants to start the pool on which of the housewives gets to first base with Lee’s partner Bob? Second base? Third? All the way?

Kick in the head

One poor old judge in Brazil is having all his delusions about “real men” challenged after spouting off in court that gay people don’t belong on Brazil’s professional soccer teams.

The fun all started when an official from one team went on TV and implied that another team’s player, Richarleyson, is gay.

Richarleyson denied the report and filed a slander complaint that ended up in Judge Manoel Maximiano Junqueira Filho’s court. Well, the judge dismissed the complaint but not before offering some strange notions about gays and soccer.

For one, if Richarleyson were really gay, he’d have to leave his team, the judge said.

“Not that a homosexual can’t play soccer,” Filho said. “He can, but he must form his own team and federation, setting up matches with those who want to play against him.”

After all, the judge concluded, soccer is a “virile sport, not homosexual.”

And these guys go to school for how many years? Who knows, though—maybe the judge took too many headers as a kid, you know…