By Gary Barlow

Staff writer

A rapt audience at Sulzer Regional Library listened Sept. 12 as photographer Richard Lee Gray and the Rev. Juan Reed shared a part of their ongoing personal conversations about what it means to be black and gay.

“This has been an incredibly difficult thing for us to do because it’s so intensely personal,” Gray told the audience. “This is really a private conversation that we’re talking about publicly now.”

Photos from Gray’s “We Are Here” exhibit, a highly praised series of images of black GLBTs, served as the backdrop. But the focus of the night was on the experiences Gray and Reed shared as they talked.

Each man used the story of a longtime personal relationship to highlight issues black gay men face—intimacy, trust and openness among them—and as a way to honor the memories of their friends and countless others.

“The lives of black gay men are rarely celebrated while they’re alive,” said Reed, the openly gay vicar of St. Martin’s Episcopal Church on Chicago’s West Side.

“I know that these stories I think are just me are really very common,” Reed said. “When we do these things publicly we find that these things we think are so personal are shared.”

Reed and Gray brought mementos of the friends they discussed—photos, letters, even a song Gray’s friend, an accomplished Broadway performer and writer, had written for Gray.

Gray also played a 25-minute video that featured Reed and Marion Houston talking about growing up gay.

Both men said there’s an urgent need for gays and lesbians, particularly people of color, to talk more with each other about their lives. Reed said that’s especially true when it comes to issues such as HIV.

“What a devastation HIV has been for us, and we never talk about it,” he said. “The African American community is in a very precarious position. The African American community is sexually active and sexually repressed at the same time. …Our silence is killing us.”

The discussion was part of a series of similar events involving “We Are Here” that have been held on the South Side, West Side and Near North Side. Next spring, Gray said, the exhibit travels to Richmond, Va.

The Sulzer event was sponsored by the Chicago Commission on Human Relations’ Advisory Council on LGBT Issues.