By Gary Barlow

Off the deep end

Remember Matt Barber? He’s the right-wing opportunist who for a brief time worked on Jim Oberweis’ failed campaign for Illinois governor in 2006.

Well, Barber’s now working, so to speak, for the Concerned Women of America, yet another anti-gay, anti-women’s rights outfit, and he’s trying to rally the troops to stop passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act in Congress. ENDA, as most of you know, would make it illegal to discriminate in employment against gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders. Because of enlightened state and local laws, that’s already illegal in a large number of states and municipalities.

Anyway, Matt has found a novel way to stoke right-wing paranoia on ENDA, i.e., “Let’s base our argument on race!”

In a recent rambling post to true believers, Barber tells the story of “Sean,” “a redheaded, freckled lad of pure Irish descent” who “made the self-determination that he was, in fact, a black man trapped in a white man’s body.” Barber goes on to postulate what would happen if Sean and “others” like him started a “transracial” movement and “demanded special rights and government-mandated benefits.”

Yeah, I know—kind of way out there in la-la-land, isn’t it? For one, Matt doesn’t talk about what “special rights and government-mandated benefits” ENDA provides, presumably because he can’t find any. Two, rather than stick to the realities of the legislation and the employment bias GLBTs face, he finds it far more scary to dream up some fantasy. Three, it’s interesting that his scare tactic about gay people involves stoking race-based fears, don’t you think?

My advice to Matt? Dude—seriously—get a job.

Spoilers

Fundamentalists worried about the future of their movement gathered in Florida last week to try to inject some life into the troops.

For starters, they expected about 350 people from around the country but only about 100, mostly from Florida, showed up. And, boy, aren’t you sorry you missed it? I can only imagine how surreal it must have been, hanging around the hotel with a bunch of wide-eyed true believers. If only I could have circled the place a few times in a black helicopter…

Anyway, a chief worry among the faithful these days is that the Republican Party might nominate a presidential candidate who’s somewhere to the left of, oh, say, Alan Keyes on such issues as gay rights and abortion. If that happens, conference attendees said, then the GOP can kiss their asses goodbye.

OK—since there’s actually little difference among the Democratic candidates on GLBT rights, I’m wondering if maybe GLBT voters shouldn’t vote en masse in the Republican primary instead. I mean, you can always go back to the Dems’ side in the general election, but why not help the GOP nominate a candidate such as Rudy Giuliani or Fred Thompson who’s anathema to the far-right crowd? Just to see if they’ll really say adios to voting in the general election? Think of the good that could do for other GLBT-friendly candidates further down the ballot. Just a thought…

Is Mitt gay?

Meanwhile, on the Democrats’ side, someone from The Advocate finally popped the question to Hillary, asking her about rumors that she’s really a lesbian.

“People say a lot of things about me, so I don’t really pay attention to it,” Clinton said. “It’s not true, but it is something I have no control over. People will say what they want to say.”

Funny, no one’s asked Mitt Romney if he’s gay—or, for that matter, Alan Keyes. I mean, if we’re gonna start asking one candidate, it seems only fair. And it would be a lot more fun.

Picture this

Finally, as we march merrily into 1984, a new report from London, which has put up 10,000 video cameras to fight crime, says the cameras actually haven’t helped to apprehend criminals.

In fact, the Evening Standard reported last week, “Four out of the five boroughs with the most cameras have a record of solving crime that is below average.”

The report echoes the conclusions of a previous study, which found that the money spent on cameras would be better spent on improving street lighting, which has been shown to cut crime by up to 20 percent.

So smile next time you see one of those crime-fighting cameras on a Chicago street. After all, you’ll want the family to have a good likeness to remember you by.